Craigslist: Look at us - we need homes please.

I have a hamster I would love to Re-home for $350.00 cage and all wow what a deal wont last
I have a chidoodlelaboterrier comes with leash that I would let go for the low low low price of $1,500.00 to ensure a good home.
I would also like to adopt for free any animal I could get my hands on. We will offer a forever loving home (somewhere).
Please I am desperate.
I also have a couple of sick animals that I really don¢t want to waste any money on at the vet so could someone out there give me some advice on how to cure them or be willing to pay the vet bill. I also need food for them because I didn¢t know when I got them I would have to feed them on the regular bases.
Please help me I am so desperate. I cannot even feed my dog so my kids have to go. Can anyone pick them up (my kids) tonight by midnight? I will send all their jammies and everything. Even some snacks so they will be quiet.
Why does my ad keep getting flagged.

(At first I thought this person was absolutely crazy for trying to re-home a hamster for $350. Then I just started laughing.)