Wednesday, January 7, 2009

A moment to gather it all up.

This week I've been feeling the need to just stop everything and gather up my thoughts, ideas, hopes, and just get something, anything, moving in a creative direction.

Even though I had nearly two weeks off of work for the holidays and Andrew's visit I feel like I didn't get much of a break at all. I've been running (and towing) my car back and forth to the shop for repairs. The kitten has been to the vet every week since I got him due to various things. My bank account is growing smaller. These are the times that I too easily let my anxieties take over me. It's hard to get past that.

What I really want, and really need right now is to just get my creativity moving again. I have all of these ideas of things I want to create, but they never seem to get anywhere. I never feel like I have the time to get any of it done. I wish I could take a week and just devote all my time and energy to my art and not worry about anything else. Today when I was driving home I felt that God put this idea upon me for a new book and it made me really want to just start drawing and never stop. But I never started. I don't know what's holding me back right now. I think part of it is this weather. The cold just makes me want to curl up under a blanket as soon as I get home from work and sleep. It's depressing to have to turn on all the lights in my house at 5:00 just to be in a comfortably lit environment. I've never felt so affected by the winter up until this year. I also miss my studio. It was easy to go there and just be in a working mindset. I just don't have that in my space at home.

I feel like I need something refreshing and new to get me rolling and I can't just wait for Spring to come along for that to happen.

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